February Statuses, Week Two

Feb 8th
Breakfast tragedy
I cut the toast the wrong shape.
Triangles, not squares.

OK Go Song Stuck
In my head, infinite loop
When the morning comes...

Feb 9th
Out of house all day
I did miss you, internet
Did you miss me much?

Feb 10th
Quart jar of coffee
You are so delicious
Might need a gallon

Stupid garbage trucks
No Parking sign now missing
From beside garage.

Discovered how to
Distract Damon from laptop
Animal Crackers

Feb 11th
Yay insomnia
Finally got Bubs to sleep
Can't turn off my brain.
This one was published at 4:20 AM

Spin class will be fun
Two and a half hours of sleep
Some dark roast might help?

Challenging spin class
Singing helps to pass the time
Warren's not a fan

Feb 12th
Three cute bedhead boys
Clustered around the table
Peach pancakes breakfast

Movie night with Dan
Some nineties nostalgia
Empire Records

Feb 13th
Did housework today
Laundry, dishes, parenting,
Instead of haikus.

Feb 14th
Happy Valentine's
Wear red and eat chocolate
Lots of love to you.

Halfway through the month
Are Haikus annoying yet?
Fifteen days to go.

Damon won't be fooled
Vanilla yogurt disguise
Totally did fail.

Week One

February Statuses, Week One

For the month of February, I challenged myself to do every Facebook update in the form of a haiku.  I'm posting them all here so I have them all in one place.  Here's week one:

Jan 31st
Half an hour early
Welcome to February!
Whole month of haikus!

Feb 1st
February first
Hard to write a decent haiku
With Bubs attacking.

First haiku of month
Already have made error
I blame lack of sleep.

Busy playdate day
Coffee and chatting for moms
Two small boys now nap.

Swimming tomorrow
Missed two weeks while in BC
Sure hope I don't drown.

Feb 2nd
Punxsutawney Phil
You know, he drives pretty good
For a quadraped.

Today in swim class
Coach said my stroke looks quite good
Twelve hundred total

Gave myself a push
One hundred continuous
I feel fantastic!

How adorable
My two year old is trying
To sing soft kitty

Oh my poor stomach
Hurts from laughing so so hard
Maybe you like it?
The link I posted

Feb 3rd
6 is too early
Up while it is still dark out
Mmm quart of coffee.

No more pictures, please
Of creepy hidden faces
They give me nightmares.

My favourite thing
About kids being in bed
Don't have to share food.

Feb 4th
Adorable hair
Naked baby wants laptop
But mom! I'm so cute!














 Too many grey hairs
This colour sure is stinky.
I hope that it works.

I suck at side plank
No core muscles to speak of
Have to start somewhere

Feb 5th
Busy Day today
Ikea lunch and Grandma's.
No time for haikus!

Miserable Bubs
Hardly wants to eat a thing.
Finally, a tooth?

Feb 6th
Ten years off my life
John can open baby gates.
Bubs fell down four stairs.

Kids are being weird.
What is that out my window?
Giant white full moon.

Feb 7th
Few minutes alone
With coffee and internet
What a luxury

Small book club meeting
Still I got out of the house
Delicious mocha.

Outside the Circle.

To know that I'm exluded,
Leaves me quite dejected.
When I am not included,
I feel I've been rejected.

I tend to shutter up my soul,
Put walls around my heart.
When I'm unsure of others,
I keep myself apart.

Old childhood issues surface,
With emotions, I am haunted.
I'm an adult, I can think it though,
I shouldn't feel unwanted.

When I feel that I am disliked,
A self-fufilling prophesy
After all, how can I be myself?
If I feel like you detest me?

No one else decides my worth,
If you don't like me, screw it
If you look at me with contempt,
That's just how you view it.

But still there is a part of me,
That aches to be accepted.
To be a part of every group,
To be together and connected.

And now that I have vented,
I can pull out the knife
of hurt, and take a nice, deep breath,
And move on with my life.

Bittersweet

As I watch my child
Explore his world,
On legs strong and steady,
My heart aches,
He grows so quick,
Faster than I'm ready.
His eyes are bright,
His hands dexterous,
His grin is quite the beam,
My helpless baby,
From newborn days,
Seems an illusion or a dream.
I love to see
My children grow
They are so bright and clever,
And yet still,
I softly mourn
As my babes are gone forever.

This one is gross.

Seriously, skip this one, especially if you like things like eating.


Today's a day I understand
Why some moms resort to drinking
I'm still a little traumatized,
This episode was stinking. 

I was going to change my younger,
He was pungent, I may mention,
When my older lay down on the change pad,
I thought he just wanted attention.

I asked him if he could move,
I needed to lay his brother down,
OH MY GOD what's on your shirt?
Is that crusty..and brown!?

Turns out he was smelly,
A diaper fully loaded.
So full, in fact, there was a problem,
It unfortunately had exploded.

Up the back and out both legs,
Change of pants and shirt and more..
Because when I went to wash my hands,
I found some on the floor.

There was a trail from chair to sink,
Scrubbing was applied!
And then I found some on my socks,
I really almost cried.

Oh motherhood, you love to surprise,
And keep me on my toes, it's true.
But it would be nice if things could stay contained,
Especially poo.

But I don't wanna clean!

Muscles are achy,
Messy habitation
Brain so sleepy,
No motivation.

Positivity

Yesterday's challenge was to look at ourselves in a mirror and say, out loud, ten positive things.  I really struggled with this, and the thought of telling myself positive things actually caused me anxiety, and made me feel sick to my stomach.  I ended up saying my 10 things hurriedly in the dark.  I have issues.

It's easy to look at myself,
And say, you look chubby.
Look at those disgusting rolls,
You're chunky, fat and tubby.
Your hair looks awfully stupid,
And also did I mention?
You've got a yukky double chin,
And a gross pizza complexion.
Hey, new wrinkles and grey hairs,
Giant pores and saggy bum
And just in case it slipped your mind,
You're also awfully dumb.

I would not let somebody else,
Insult me in such a way.
So why when I say it to myself
Do I think it's okay?

Why can't I look into the mirror,
And say: You look pretty!
You're looking awfully slim today!
You're funny, and you're witty!
Your legs are strong and shapely,
Bright and sparkly are your eyes, 
Your smile is genuine, and
You make the most delicious pies.
Your hair is looking gorgeous!
You also know you're smart,
And inside your most perfect chest,
Is a warm and loving heart.

Cheerios and Fear

I went to spin this morning with my SIL.  My husband was nice enough to watch not only our kids, but SIL's kids as well.  I received a text right as class was starting: "The house smells of Cheerios and fear."  It made me laugh, and inspired this poem.

The house smells of Cheerios and fear,
As five young children now are here.
My husband was left alone,
With these five offspring in our home.
Nephew, nephew, sons and niece,
Looks like there will be no peace.
Five and one and two and three,
Just nine months for one that's wee.
Mom and Auntie have gone spinning,
Sweating, working, puffing, grinning.
Spin was great, my legs did burn,
As I made my pedals turn.
Afterwards, we made a stop,
At the local coffee shop.
Arriving home, the kids were fine,
There hadn't been excess of whine,
And more important: Dan was okay
He had handled fine the fray.
I know that he was apprehensive,
And his morning was intensive,
But while he may have found it stressful,
We will call the day successful!

Push.

I feel like there should be more to this.  Thoughts?

If I don't push myself,
I will not improve.
I can stay in my rut,
Comfortable in my groove.

Sometimes I'm content,
Here in this place
Change can be scary,
And I know this space.

When I challenge myself,
I only get stronger,
So I can go further,
Harder or longer.

I will set small goals,
See what is feasible,
I just might surprise myself,
With what is achievable.

with each small goal,
That I do achieve,
My confidence expands,
In myself I believe.

Valentine's Ode

Yeah, it's cheesy. 

Of Valentine's, I am not a fan,
But my husband is a romantic man.
He buys me treats, gifts for the boys,
Little chocolates or tiny toys.
He cooks me food, a delicious dish,
Doesn't care if I wear pants with fish.
Puts up with my morning crank,
Before my coffee's made and drank.
When I feel fat, he says I'm pretty
He sometimes thinks my jokes are witty.
When I have angry old man face,
He helps it out with an embrace.
He's also a terrific father,
Our sons are not to him a bother,
Instead, they give him great delight,
(Maybe slightly less in the dark of night)
Every day, I feel so blessed.
(Though from this poem, you may have guessed)
I am lucky to have found this man,
Happy Valentine's Day to my Dan.

Breakfast Betrayal

Timed it, twelve minutes
So Three Minute Cream of Wheat?
You are a liar.

Spin Class

Breathless, straining,
Quads are burning,
Fight to keep those
Pedals turning.
Sweating, puffing,
Legs are shaking
My whole body now
Is aching.
Spirit is weak,
Motivation: gone.
Feeling faint...
Oh? Class is done?

I also wrote a status haiku.  I find that singing along to the music helps distract me from the fact I want to die.  One of the other participants kept glaring every time we would sing.  We being me and my new spin buddy who also enjoys singing:

Challenging spin class
Singing helps to pass the time
Warren's not a fan

For the record, about 30 minutes in, I couldn't sing anymore because I was so breathless.

Here's one for today:

Aching, sore muscles
Walking like an old lady
Day after spin class

Be thankful it's not about how much my butt hurts.

Another reject

Tomorrow is spin
Have my extra padded shorts.
Hello, sore butt cheeks.

Rejected

I wrote this one the other day, but did not post it as a status, for obvious reasons.

Cribs sheets and blankets
Into the laundry first thing
Giant Poosplosion.

The flip side.*

Today, I'm a rock,
Today, I will sink.
I splash and I flail
Around in the drink.

I am upset and stressed,
My chest, it feels tight.
Every stroke is a battle,
Every length is a fight.

I cough and I struggle,
I go through the motions,
Today, I'm distracted.
A creature of emotions.

*edit: This one makes more sense if you have read this one first

Not my best effort.

Today I wanted to write something silly,
About some kind of food, maybe tacos with chile,
My bright yellow grapefruit, my chocolate cranberries,
Or delicious and creamy tubs of Ben and Jerry's.

Instead, this morning, I had quite a start,
A small incident that frightened my heart,
My wee little baby, of only months nine,
(and, don't worry!  He really is fine!)
While I was folding my big laundry jumble,
He found some stairs, and took quite a tumble.
We have a half bath, down stairs numbered four,
The bathroom has a sliding pocket-type door.

We have a gate on the stairs at the top,
Baby falls it's designed to stop.
My husband was downstairs, you can guess why,
And it seems that the gate was slightly awry,
It was shaken by a boy who is two,
When it was open, he promptly went through.
I heard a "Hi Bud!" and quickly looked over,
To see a wee babe try to follow his brother.
As he crawled through the gate, his hand landed on air,
And end-over-end he fell down the stairs.

I yelled a bad word, and leapt to my wee guy,
Who was rather startled, and starting to cry.
I managed to calm him, but my heart was racing,
He was already happy, while I was him embracing.
I talked to my older, and I tried to convey,
That he wasn't in trouble, and Bubs was okay,
But the gate needed to be closed, I spoke to his frown,
So that his little brother wouldn't fall down.

My baby is fine, and he soon was playing,
I am sure my hair has a lot more greying.
So my poem today is not about food,
And the rhyming is not very good.
Hopefully, tomorrow, I can be more fun,
And now this terrible poem here is done.

Placeholder.

For the month of February, I have challenged myself to do all my Facebook statuses as haikus.  Actually, I posted a poll, and haiku was the clear winner.  While this is great for me creatively in general, my rhyming stuff has been suffering.

Goal tomorrow: a rhyming poem about something silly. 

Confession: my favourite style of poetry to write is free verse, which I have not done in years.  My free verse ones tend to be depressing, and I have not been able to pull off teenage angst for about 20 years now.  Mid-30's angst just isn't as acceptable.

Here's two terrible haikus that did not make the status cut, because they are awful:

Know what makes me mad?
Seeing drivers yapping on
Their stupid cell phones.

Recommended page
A little weird to have one
Liked by my dead dad.

I'm Learning

Whenever we speak,
It's always a fight.
You think I'm always wrong,
And you're always right.

Instead of engaging
And going mad,
I have a better plan,
Of that I am glad.

I can stand up straight,
I can be strong.
You're not always right,
I'm not always wrong.

Our opinions are different,
And that is just fine.
You have your feelings,
I'm entitled to mine.

I don't have to defend,
I don't have to explain,
It's not worth my time,
It's not worth my pain.

Instead of an argument,
I don't want to play.
I can shut my mouth.
I can walk away.

We will never solve this,
So there won't be talking.
I have two feet.
And those feet are walking. 

Good Swim

Today I'm a fish
Today I will glide
Through the cool water
My body will slide

My breathing is even,
My legs, they feel strong,
My arms are efficient,
I am relaxed, lean and long.

My stroke has a rhythm,
My breath is hypnotic.
Today I am happy,
A creature aquatic.

February 2nd.

Six AM again
Four-slice toaster in the bath
Babe, I got you babe.

Ned?  Ned Ryerson?
Step into a deep puddle.
God, I hate this town.  

Punxsutawney Phil 
You know, he drives pretty good 
For a quadraped.

(The last one is my favourite!)