Thursday, March 29, 2012

Again and again and again

I have an awful habit,
For this I am sorry,
Of telling over and over again,
The same old boring story.

It may be of interest to me,
Or a funny definition,
But I am sure it is annoying
On the one hundredth repetition.

I try my best not to echo
Myself again, and yet-
My memory is not the best,
And I often forget.

I have to apologize,
I have the inclination,
To repeat my little anecdotes,
Much to other's frustration.

Weightloss haiku.

Been tracking my food
Today I hit ten pounds lost
A lovely milestone.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Posting for the sake of posting.

I said I would try to write every day.  I wrote today, and thought they both sucked, but since I haven't come up with anything better, here they are.  I was pretty bummed out today, which is why they look like teenaged angst.  Sorry.

Effort #1
How can the heart,
Be so sad,
Over something imagined,
But never had?

Effort #2
Why do I persist
When I know in my brain,
In reading things,
That cause me pain?

They hurt my heart,
They hurt my head,
What has been seen,
Can't be unread.

I guess that second poem really applies to today's entry.  I said sorry. 

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Yeah, that was me.

I read a site,
(well, I read a few)
This one tells some parents,
To S T F U.

I admit that I worry,
I don't want to find,
My inane Facebook updates,
With comments unkind.

I try my best not to post,
Things that might make you sick,
Like vomit, blood, poop,
Or a genital pic.

I try to be funny,
Stay on the light side,
Give an upbeat impression,
And not be cranky or snide.

I ended up on the site!
But not for being crass,
I'm just in the thread,
A sarcastic smartass.

Still, I will strive,
Try to keep my clue,
So I won't need to be told:
Hey, S T F U.

Twitter

Checked out the twitter
So, just like Facebook status?
With less characters.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Curse you, Bulk Barn!

I did not shout or wave my fist around at all.  It's called poetic license.

First time at Bulk Barn
Bin upon bin
Let's check out
what's within

I don't need that.
Or that or this.
This weird stuff,
I'll give a miss.

I have a coupon,
Three dollars off,
If I spend ten dollars.
No way, I scoff.

Oh, I'll get some of this,
And that looks neat,
The two year old
Gets a special treat.

Ok, that's good.
I'll go check out.
Forty dollars!?
No way! I shout.

Bulk barn, you win.
I wave my fist.
But next time I come,
I come with a list. 

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Second Cup Green Tea Latte.

Green tea latte
In my cup so creamy,
Like custard in a mug
You taste so dreamy.

I wish I could drink you
Every single AM
But I can't, there's problems,
Here, I will say them:

First of all, latte,
You cost dollars four,
If I drank you every day,
I would be much more poor.

All of your calories,
They would make me fatter,
"Oh well," I hear you say
"That just wouldn't matter!"

You devious drink,
It matters to me.
And so I will tell you,
How it is going to be.

An occasional treat,
Is my conviction.
Once every few weeks,
I'll indulge my addiction.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Early Saturday Spin

Alarm set for six
Less than eight hours from right now
Better get to bed.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Perceptions

Two faces of a coin,
Each see a different view,
Things that look correct to me,
May seem wrong to you.

Fact or opinion?
Honesty or deception?
How much is real,
And how much perception?

What I believe is truth,
You see as a lie.
Because we stand back-to-back,
We can't see eye-to-eye.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Third Weds of Every Month Stinks.

Husband late meeting
Single parenting bedtime
Phew! Both are asleep.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Plagiarism.

I recently discovered that several people have plagiarized my Ode to my Keurig on a contest page to win a House Party and the new Keurig Vue.  I would have entered my poem myself, if I were eligible.  Canadians are not.  Anyway, here is what I think of plagiarism and jackasses who steal my stuff.

So you want to win a Keurig,
But you don't know how to rhyme,
And you know how to google, 
So why not save some time?

You figure you will steal my stuff,
Why not plagiarize?
Well, you lazy sack of crap.
Here is your surprise.

I read my stats, I found you out,
Your cheating is reported.
So in your quest to lie to win,
I guess you have been thwarted.

Anyone can copy/paste,
As long as you have the parts,
But to come up with something of your own,
Ah, that takes some smarts. 

To plagiarize, to steal, to cheat,
Is comtemptible at best.
You and your wee tiny brain,
I thoroughly detest.

My Simple Wish

My wish is not for a castle,
Perched on cliffs above the sea,
Or for a vine wrapped cottage,
Oh so quaint and twee.
I do not need a mansion,
Be it grand and palatial,
Or a remote country estate,
With fields so green and spacial.
I do not wish for hoards of gold,
Or diamonds, sparkling bright,
Navy sapphires, or black onyx
That gleams as dark as night.
I do not need gleaming opals,
Or rubies, deep cerise.
All I want is the kids to can it,
So I can poop in peace.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

I still have the plague.

Head so dizzy
Body weak
Cough so phlegmy
Hard to speak.

Voice is raspy,
Throat is sore,
Just getting up
Is quite the chore.

Brain is tired,
Hard to write,
And on that note,
I'll say good night.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Frog in Throat

You'd think something that took me all day to write would be better.  This possible cold is making my head hurt.

Croaky voice
And throat so ouchy
I want to curl up
On my couchy.

I would like to make
A blanket nest,
And sleep all day,
A lovely rest.

My children hear this
And guffaw.
They have no sympathy
For their Ma.

Instead, I'll pretend
This is fun:
I'll go outside
And do a run.

Kids in stroller,
Makes it tough.
Still, I am trying
Huff huff puff puff.

Now I am coughing,
Head's feeling light.
Perhaps I'll just walk,
That feels alright.

Looking forward to bedtime,
My cozy duvet,
Hope I feel better tomorrow
Than I did today.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Want Bed.

Trying to get into, and stay in, the habit of writing/posting something every day.  Even if it is just a crappy haiku.

Brain is so fuzzy
I swam forty laps today
Two thousand meters.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Fiction

I don't have a job, or a bearded boss.  This is fiction.  I was bored and asked a friend for a word to write about.  It was "boss". 

My boss is tall
And thinks he's smart
He has a beard
And likes to fart.

He thinks I'm dumb,
This I can attest.
He thinks I don't notice
His eyes on my chest.

I'm more than a butt,
I do have a brain,
I can't stand this job,
It's quite inhumane. 

When I get a new job,
And my references have cleared,
I'll punch that smug bastard
Right in the beard. 

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Starting again

Hey, I ran today!
Not very long, with stroller
But it is a start.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Cut it out.

MLM scammy scam
Makes me quite annoyed
When I can, I do my best,
Those products I avoid.

But then I have some people,
Who think I should buy their stuff.
I am telling you, here and now:
I have had enough.

I do not want your product.
I don't want to hear your spiel
Go find some more naive fish
To bring in on your reel.

I do not want to be a host.
I certainly won't sell it.
I am not sure just how much more
Clearly I can tell it.

Stop pushing your stupid crap
Repeatedly at my face.
I do not want it, ever.
And here, just in case:

STOP.
just..
STOP.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

My breakfast. MINE.

Maple syrup, butter melting
Into golden squares
Crispy golden waffles tasty.
Thank you, I won't share.

Juicy sausage, crispy bacon,
Two yummies made of pork.
Keep your hands off of my plate,
Or I will stab you with my fork.

Perhaps I need another coffee,
Dark roast tastes oh so good.
Or perhaps you should get your own,
Back off from my food.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Excuses.

March 8th would have been my Dad's 61st birthday.  I wanted to write something, but my baby got the stomach flu.  Today, he alternately slept or was clingy, while my 2.5 year old was hyper and tantrumy, apparently feeling a little neglected as I snuggled his sick brother.  So all I have is this sorry excuse for a haiku:

Thursday, March the eighth
Dad would have been sixty-one
A very sad day.

I will endeavor to write something better tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Why I should keep a notepad beside my bed.

Drifting to sleep,
Cozy in my bed,
The most perfect of rhymes,
Inside of my head.

The verses melodic,
Stanzas so witty,
A poem so touching,
Funny or gritty.

I repeat it a few times,
To deeply engrain,
It into my memory
Etched in my brain.

But when morning comes,
The lightening dawn,
My poetic perfection,
Sadly, is gone.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Minimal Effort.

Hey
I am
writing
this
poem
in
free verse.
Is
this
not
totally
pretentious?
At
least
I
don't
have
to
come up with
rhymes.
I'm
pretty
tired.
Insert
profound
statement
here.
Pomegranate.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Solitary Confinement

My walls, they are thick
My mask is in place,
A smiling and confident
Happy-type face.

My windows are shuttered,
Nothing can get in
Pay no attention
To behind my grin.

Inside I am scared,
Insecure, uncertain.
A seethe of anxiety,
Behind the curtain.

Someone assured is
A manner I'll affect
My vulnerable self
I must protect.

No one can know
How in myself I doubt,
I'll keep myself in,
And I'll keep you out.

Fortified defenses
Is all I have known,
But they keep me safe.
Safe...and alone.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

February Statuses, Week Four + March 1st

Once again, I have deleted a name.  It was 3 syllables this time.


Feb 22nd
Shopped before coffee
Managed to stick to the list
Hooray! Free K-cups!

Wish all customers
Had read a copy of this
When I worked Helpdesk.
Link to Cracked article

Cell phone camera
Randomly started working
See Bubs' dirty shirt.














  
Feb 23rd
Every stinkin' day
I tell Facebook "Most Recent"
Screw your Top Stories!

Surprise for Grandma
Turns out Damon can climb stairs.
News to everyone!

Feb 24th
[Deleted] birthday!
Hope she has a happy day
Love, seestar, John, Bubs.

Feb 25th
Alarm so early
Saturday is spin class day
Please work soon, coffee

Hardest spin ever
Body feels like a noodle
Mmm green tea latte.

Feb 26th
BFF birthday!
Hope it is the best one ever!
Celebrate with wine!

Outside with the boys
John sure loves to go sledding!
Forgot camera.

Feb 27th
Only two more days
I can express myself with
ALL the syllables!

Damon loves Mater
Better get your hugs in quick.
Mater is John's toy.














Feb 28th
Hand-me-down jammies
John wants to wear them all day
Have McQueen on them.

Feb 29th
Two stir-crazy boys
Going to indoor playground
You want to join us?

Last day for haikus
If you want one just for you
Better speak up now.

Too many haikus
For single status update
Click on link below.
The link went to a Facebook note, where I had posted all the haikus.  They all have names, though, so I won't post them here.  I had a request for a summary of Haiku Month:

Haiku month over
Interesting, challenging
Mostly glad it's done. 

  
And here is a bonus:
March 1st
Welcome to March! No more haikus.
But you can write one of your own if you choose,
Try to say what you mean,
In syllables seventeen,
And you can name me as your muse.

Week One
Week Two
Week Three

Friday, March 2, 2012

Tantrums Today.

Some days I want wine,
Some days I want beer,
Some days champagne,
A glass lifted in cheer.

Some days I want Bailey's
Or Kahlua in milk,
Or a nice Cuban rum
Or something of that ilk.

I love a tequila,
AƱejo and gold
A sunrise, a margarita,
Or a shot if I'm bold.

A nice Irish whiskey
Could spike up my java,
And burn on the way down,
Like delicious lava.

But I've responsibilities,
This I can not refute.
Not to mention a tolerance,
That's extra minute.

Once the kids are in bed,
I can partake, see,
A half-glass of wine,
Will intoxicate me.

February Statuses, Week Three

 I have deleted a name, as I try not to publish anyone's name, unless they are a part of my immediate family (husband, and two sons).  You will have to take my word for it that it is a two syllable name.

Feb 15th
House full of fuzzy
Only one crib, two babies,
Consecutive naps!

Feb 16th
I'm sore all over,
Many muscles muttering
Tough, great swim today.

Feb 17th
Bubs is the coolest
Harley Davidson shirt and
No pants. So stylin'!

John was too quiet
Went to see what he's doing
Hand in the butter.

I'm eating a pear
Hard to quietly enjoy
With two small mooches.

Feb 18th
Thank you, my husband
For watching 5 small children
So we could go spin.

I will take that, please.
Seriously, give it here!
Bubs' camera now.











  

Feb 19th
It's [deleted] Birthday!
Everybody celebrate!
Mochas and push-ups!

Feb 20th
Nine more days to go,
Then you won't have to look at
Any more haikus.

Out of sorts baby
Refuses to fall asleep
So overtired.

Feb 21st
Bubs attempts bear crawl
Instead of trying to walk
Try growing some teeth!

Ten months yesterday,
I swear that Bubs was just born.
Wow, time is flying.

Pancakes for dinner
Damon and John both approved.
Happy Mardi Gras!

Week Two
Week One