Hoader Shack Sonnet

While I managed the 14 lines, and the rhyming scheme, I did not exactly pull of iambic pentameter.  What can I say?  I'm not Shakespeare :)

Hoarder Shack Sonnet 

My best friend bought a townhouse, christened it a shack
It was full of garbage, rejected hoarder trash.
She cleaned it with her family, top to bottom, front to back,
And implemented plans which would use lots of her cash.

Bathroom floors got brand new lino, ugly carpet was removed,
The walls, multiple colours, were all painted grey,
With a helicoptor chandelier, the shack was much improved,
But the toil was not through, no time for cabernet.

New toilets were installed, new carpet on the stairs,
And last but not least, for sure, a brand new shiny kitchen
And after all the work was done, all of these repairs,
The former horder shack was finally super bitchin'

And this ends my little poem
About my BFF's new home.

The Penguin Poem

On Dec 31st, I went to a spin class.  I was worried about going, since I am out of shape, and confided this to my best friend.  She told me to recite the Penguin Poem over and over.  She was referring to the quote by John "The Penguin" Bingham which goes "The miracle is not that I finished.  The miracle is that I had the courage to start."  I thought she meant a poem about a little penguin who overcomes odds, something like this:


Once there was a little penguin
He had flippers black
One day he slipped upon some ice
And fell on to his back
A walrus saw and laughed at him
A harbour seal did too
Oh, the poor little penguin
Whatever shall he do?
The penguin got up off the ice
Slowly, it's not a race
Walked right up to that walrus
And punched him in the face.

BFF:   BEST POEM EVER!!!

    DID YOU JUST MAKE THAT UP????????

ME:  Yes, I do that :)

BFF:  best poem ever!!! go penguin!!!!

ME:  I especially like the face punching part. Face punching improves any poem by 110%

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I do feel there is room for improvement.  After all, the harbour seal didn't get what was coming to him.